What does “down” mean?

Posted by on Aug 15, 2011 in Humor, Musings | No Comments

Various meanings for ‘down’ that I have seen over the years:

  • An email to someone at another company bounced back.
  • Someone forgot his or her password and/or password.
  • A mobile user has poor wireless and/or mobile broadband connectivity.  “I’m at the airport…”
  • A mobile user was sitting at home during a power outage.  Wish I were making this up.
  • The application is down for scheduled maintenance, as requested and scheduled by the person complaining of the outage.  “You never tell us anything!”
  • The person submitting the ticket was told by a coworker that someone on a previous shift had some sort of problem sometime between last night and last week.  “He needs this to do his job.”
  • Users were sharing credentials, and then the account was closed when the account owner was terminated for whatever reason.  “How else can I do it?”
  • User attempted to log into a system that was decommissioned five years ago.  It *was* a good hostname.
  • All of the access points in a large warehouse were physically moved, creating large dead spots.  Of course, no one saw anything or knew how it happened.  Gnomes!
  • The cnn.com website was down.  Guess who had to send an outage notification to 16,000 users?
  • The application administrator tried something that broke the dev instance, and then proceeded to ‘try’ it in all of the other instances, too.  Because you never know!
  • A developer with production access ran a “harmless” SQL statement.  It couldn’t be that – it’s only a SELECT statement!
  • The application administrator decided to “secure” the ERP by disabling system accounts.  Since no one could log in, it was really secure.

How about you?  I’d love to hear some other good definitions of “down.”